A Child's Hope - Adoption Services in North Carolina

Frequently Asked Questions for Birthmothers

I'm pregnant. What are my options?
Today, a mother facing an unplanned pregnancy has several options available to her. Abortion, parenting or adoption. Trained counselors are available to discuss your options with you in a non-judgmental way and help you make the decision that is right for you and your baby. We do not take a position on these options, we help guide you to make the right decision for you.

What is adoption?
It is a way to provide your child with love, stability and support. Adoption is not "giving away" your baby. Adoption is making a courageous decision to give your child a better life. It is recognizing that you are not ready to parent your child. It is a wonderful gift for your child and a waiting parent or couple that is ready to build a family.

Is it right for me?
Think about all the things a mother has to do. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Then, think about all the things you want to do. If you are not sure that you are ready for that responsibility, think carefully about your choices. Your decision will affect the rest of your life - and your child's.

Assistance is available to you for pregnancy related expenses, including ordinary living expenses, medical costs, counseling and legal advice.

You can choose a family for your child. You can meet them and have as little or as much contact with them as you choose. You can spend time with your baby after delivery. Your baby will be placed with the loving family you have selected. You can receive updates on your child as he grows. Or not. The choice is yours.

How do I know my baby will be well cared for?
Every adoptive parent undergoes a rigorous investigative process called a home study or preplacement assessment to ensure that they are suitable to be parents and can provide a good home to a child. Adoptive parents have chosen to assume the responsibilities of parenthood and have shown they are ready to do so. They are ready to love your child and provide the type of family you want your child to have. Our agency directors, who are attorneys, meet with each couple before they are accepted to the agency. Our social workers meet with them three times and we require documentation on their backgrounds.

How will I emotionally handle "giving my baby away?"
Placing a child for adoption is a difficult decision. Our counselors are trained to help you sort through your feelings and help you. Knowing what to expect is important. Our counselors will help you find comfort in knowing that your decision will provide you and your child with greater opportunities in life.

What will my child think of me for "giving him away?"
Adoptive parents explain that your decision was made out of every day concern for your child's future and with the best interest of you child in mind. From a very early age, our adoptive parents tell their children of the special feelings their birth parents have for them. As a result, most children grow up feeling true respect for their birth parents and understanding for the difficult decision that was made on their behalf. Adoption is not giving your child away - adoption is a way to plan for your child's life.

Can I see my baby again if I want to?
In the past, adoptions were always closed, meaning that birth parents and adoptive parents never met or had any information about each other. Now, you have a choice between closed, semi-open and open. Many people are choosing either semi-open or open adoption arrangement. What an open adoption means is determined by the birth parents and adoptive parents by mutual agreement.

For the birth mother, in semi-open or open adoptions it means you can participate in choosing a family for your child. You can meet them and have as little or as much contact with them as you choose. You can see your baby after delivery, hold your baby, name the baby and spend as much time with the baby at the hospital as you choose. You can also receive pictures and updates on your child as he/she grows. Or not. The choice is yours.

What about the father?
When faced with an unplanned pregnancy, there are always many questions about the father's rights. Following are some common questions:

Can my baby's father force me to obtain an abortion?
No. It is totally your decision. It is totally your decision whether or not to carry your pregnancy to term.

Can my baby's father prevent me from obtaining an abortion?
No. Again, it is totally your decision.

Does an unwed father have the right to parent his child?
Only if he does certain things to protect his rights as a parent. An unwed father must show his commitment to parenting before his parental interests are entitled to protection.

Does an unwed father have to give his consent before his child can be placed for adoption?
No. Not automatically. He must do certain things to protect his interests as a parent and establish his right consent to the adoption. If he fails to act, then his consent may not be required.

How do I find out more?
Contact us for more information. Trained counselors will listen without judging. They will provide the information you need to help you make the right decision without pressure. Our attorney directors will help you understand the legal rights of your child's father.

Birthmothers call toll free:

1-877-890-HOPE (4673)